Windy nights are embraced by my delights,
Of hopeful fantasies frolicking out of my mind and into reality
As I work to nuzzle between layers of jacket and body heat,
I take notice and see
That it’s quite neat,
The intimacy of self-sufficiency,
The stifled chills run their course
And I find myself once again in my head
Collecting ambitions wrapped in color and delicious wonders,
The city’s buildings seem brighter now as the lights twinkle and pollute the air with a cast of glowing mist,
I’m noticing things I’ve never noticed before
Because now I’ve been given the time to finally think,
These are the crossroads
At which all of my aspirations aren’t outshined by the daylight,
In which I feel trapped within monetary schemes and set routines,
But now
I am able to ponder my dreams, near and distant memories
That can give some foundation of what is to come,
And
Some intrigue and insight on what I am to me
Because frankly,
I almost forgot.
What could-have-beens outweigh successes
When tired minds are too dim to realize how much soul all of this took,
And it’s always hard to be the only one cheering you on to remind you of how good you did…
But
Here we are,
Here I am,
Finding myself walking in the city,
In the realm of the raw reality
Of nocturnal vulnerability,
And I discover inspiration
Gifted upon me by the quiet and flickering street lights
And the sensual hymn of the wind,
Unburdening me from the static that washed away my color,
Reminding me of all I hold dear,
And to think,
I almost lost my rhythm.
A scarcity of non-surveying eyes,
A society of little white lies of machinations creating a false glamour for a disguise,
And frailties that make talk cheap,
Falsities I’d prefer not to wrap my lips around,
My defiance has caused me to lose sleep,
But not tonight,
In self-sufficient intimacy
I am able to dig deep
And embrace the pearl that houses fantasies and memories,
Along with color I thought had left me.
By J. Williams
Sugary Sweet Ennui 